Part 1 – The Mingle Game
Relationships
never really seemed to work out for me. It is proven that women grow
and develop faster than guys and I feel that this often is the reason
why it is so hard for us to end up in a happy relationship. Pretty
much every guy I dated under 30 was too immature and psychologically
not developed enough for the 'real deal'.
They often do not know what it is that they really want. 'Comitting to a relationship when I am only 27? There are so many girls out there, I might miss the right one!' Sentences like these seem to be normal in today's..., how I like to call it, 'mingle world'. Somehow they want someone who is there for them, cares for them and to whom they can come home after a long day. On the other hand, giving up on all of these amazing opportunities and adventures that might present themselves? Because of being committed? This is not what these young guys want. Not with all of this zest for life.
Therefore, the term mingle really describes the mindset of many people nowadays. Everything is faster, video calling someone oceans away or meeting someone through a dating app who is travelling through your city? That's routine today and globalization really does not help guys to speed up the process of comitting. Even though the 'right one' might pass by, they are way to occupied to live their lifes waiting for the one that might even be better. And guess what? Always thinking that way is a vicious circle that does not stop, meaning the impossibility to reach the destination where a happy relationship might be waiting for them.
They often do not know what it is that they really want. 'Comitting to a relationship when I am only 27? There are so many girls out there, I might miss the right one!' Sentences like these seem to be normal in today's..., how I like to call it, 'mingle world'. Somehow they want someone who is there for them, cares for them and to whom they can come home after a long day. On the other hand, giving up on all of these amazing opportunities and adventures that might present themselves? Because of being committed? This is not what these young guys want. Not with all of this zest for life.
Therefore, the term mingle really describes the mindset of many people nowadays. Everything is faster, video calling someone oceans away or meeting someone through a dating app who is travelling through your city? That's routine today and globalization really does not help guys to speed up the process of comitting. Even though the 'right one' might pass by, they are way to occupied to live their lifes waiting for the one that might even be better. And guess what? Always thinking that way is a vicious circle that does not stop, meaning the impossibility to reach the destination where a happy relationship might be waiting for them.
My next post will be about how to recognize a mingle-man and when to run!
I would love to hear your comments about this topic and if you have dated a mingle-man in your life before please share your experience.
Your Janessa
So true, darling! Guys have like no attention span these days :(
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There are plenty of men in this world that fit the description in your article, but there are plenty of good men in their 20s, but too many women seem to be attracted to the bad boys or the ones that are afraid to commit, the ones that they know aren't right for them, but they think that they can change them. I am 29 year's old and when I was younger I didn't know what I wanted when it came to being in a relationship or being single. Now that I am older I know what I want. I would love to have a woman that I can settle down with, one that can hold deep conversations and can stimulate my mind. I would love to find that woman that I can travel the world with, or do something as simple as lying outside on a summer night and watching the stars. I know that I could be faithful and no amount of temptation could get me to cheat if I am in a relationship, and I hate the single life, having to date different women and waste time that I can be giving to one woman. I do agree that women tend to know what they want before men do, and they tend to reach that point where they want to settle down before some men do, but there are men in their 20s that want to settle down also, and the men that haven't reached that point will eventually do so. I always tell women that if they seem to keep getting the same results with men they should sit down and write out each trait that their ex's had and compare them to each other, and I guarantee that they will see that these men are similar. After doing that they can look at the things that attracted them to these men and look for the opposite in the new men that they choose to date. In a lot of cases the man that you actually settle down with is completely different than the men that you dated in the past.
ReplyDeleteThanks Deshawn for your very insightful comment. I agree with you that there are many women who pick guys that are not good for them because it is what they somehow unconsciously look for ( I guess this would be a great post for my blog in the future as well ;-)) I have dated many guys who have been very different regarding character, looks, interests etc...but most of the time encountered problems regarding commitment. Generally I am also of the opinion that it does not only depend on age but on the person, some are not even ready to settle when they are above 40! However, as I described in my post the younger guys are the more they usually want to expierence life (thats what I experienced and many women I know as well) but I am more than happy about every guy's opinion who does not fit the pattern. This gives the women's world hope! I Since my blog post "Are all guys under 30 really immature?" has a couple of sequels, I will also look at this question from different angles in the upcoming weeks. Again, thanks for your great comment! My own gender will be questioned as well in further posts ;-) I would love to hear your opinion about my future posts as well.
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